Why I started writing...

This blog was a pretty spontaneous idea. I created it in a matter of days, working without noticing how time flew by- in a complete flow. And now a lot of people have asked me: "Why did you start this blog? And are you secretly depressed? You know you can talk to me if you need to". And I appreciate that a lot, don´t get me wrong. Knowing that I have people around me that care about me is amazing. But it made me want to answer this question on here too. I don´t want there to be any misunderstandings.

 Photo by  rawpixel.com  on  Unsplash

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

So. This blog was created because I think we all, or at least most of us, try very hard to portray to the world, via social media and real life conversations, that our life is sunshine and rainbows in the form of the best cocktail you ever had in a glass made of gold. And that might be true for most of the time, it might be true for some of the time or never. But we tend to talk very easily with everyone about what is going right and what we love about our lives or we focus on everyone else´s lives. And we try to hide what we truly think and feel sometimes because we feel ashamed. We feel like we shouldn´t be having hard days, months or even decades or like we shouldn´t "complain" because "other people have it worse". And yes- solely focusing on what is going wrong is not healthy at all. But ignoring the "bad" stuff is not healthy either. 

I want to normalize those feelings and experiences at least a little. Nobody should feel weird or alone because they are going through something. Your circumstances might be very different from those of others, but your feelings and your way of dealing with them might be the same or at least similar. The important part is that your feelings should be acknowledged. Emotions are very real and very important, they are an integral part of you. They don´t define you but they participate in creating what defines you. I don´t want anyone to have to feel guilty on top of, for example, anxiety. 

The second reason is that the person closest to me is going through very tough things and has been going through them for four years now. That person is my lifeline and I want to give people like that person a safe space, understand them better and also create a community for people like me, who are close to someone battling demons and consequently fight their own. 

The most important thing for me always is and always has been the following: when I voice my problems and feelings to someone, I don´t always want advice on how to get out of the situation and solve the puzzle, so I can finally feel better again, because me feeling better would make everyone's life easier and more comfortable. We all hurt when people close to us are hurting, I understand that. But if I want advice I´ll ask for it. What I truly need most of the time is someone that just listens, tells me it´s normal to feel that way and that I am not alone. Someone that is just unconditionally present and asks me what I need right now. I am very fortunate in that I have good friends and family that do just that for me. But not everyone has that or feels comfortable talking to family and friends about everything, which is where blogs like this one can come in. I hope this explains my train of thought a bit better. 

What helps you guys when you´re facing something dark? I´d love to know. 

Have a great day and stay here. 

Elza BuderComment